GETTING OVER A BROKEN RELATOINSHIP
RESIST THE NEWS OF THE HEARTBREAK! This should be your first reaction to the bad news of the ending of your relationship. When you partner tells you it’s over, it’s not time to easily accept but you must resist the bad news. You must fight for your love. Tell him or her that you are not for the idea and that you are not ready to break up with them. Beg, cry, plead but don’t be foolish. Yes, I said it. Don’t be foolish! After begging, crying, and pleading, you should be sensitive to the emotional reactions of your partner to your desire to keep the relationship alive.
Let me just tell you the truth, under normal circumstances, a man or woman in love will not find it so easy to let go of their partner. If he does, there is an external motivation for doing so. Yes, if you are sensitive enough, that bad news should not come as a surprise. You saw that thing coming. Remember you started by complaining about how busy he/she suddenly became; his/her phone became invisible, you saw the strange sms’ and he/she had time for others but not you and off course there was always an explanation for the change. But now you know why?
Why should you resist the bad news? You should because when all completely fails to work out when you are gone, there will not be a motivation for coming back. We often fail to move on because we feel we have not done enough to make things work but when efforts are made, we slowly start to develop an indifferent attitude to the situation and that is a key for moving on from that hurt.
Let me bring it home now. Do you remember what you felt when someone dear to you died? Sorry to remind you of that sad experience but let me use the phases of the emotional experience during a funeral to help you get over that heart break.
- Shock and denial (bad news) – if the news of your partner quitting the relationship does not shock you, you are living in denial. At this stage, you will have a lot of question on your mind just like we ask ourselves questions when someone dies. But look, no amount of questions will change the situation at the moment so begin to prepare to face reality- face the source of the pain.
- Face the source of the pain(body viewing)
Face your partner- don’t be scared of going to face your partner; yes they have caused you pain but don’t allow them to end the relationship on phone or any other means other than facing you head on. Let him/her tell it to your face that it is over.
- burry the source of the pain
When they do, thank them for the time you spent with them and in pain, burry whatever you have had with them. This means, gather whatever could remind you of them and destroy them or give them away or do whatever you can to keep such things out of reach.
What you focus on is always magnified. When you shift your focus, you will slowly shift your affection. At this point, you will experience withdrawal symptoms but don’t succumb to them.
- don’t pack all the eggs in one basket
if some eggs have gone bad you don’t mix them up with good ones do you? The temptation that comes when you are disappointed is to put all men/ladies in one basket. “All guys are the same. They are cheaters” you say. dah! We are not the same and not all guys are cheaters! It’s not true that all people are the same. People are different and you must appreciate that fact. Always remember that there is someone out there who can love you for who you are so begin to create room in your heart for them to get in. Forget that good for nothing man that left you for someone else. In fact maybe you were even not good enough for them so do yourself some favour and be the good that someone else is looking for now!